Lazy person's guide to the Warhammer 40,000 universe

Warhammer 40,000 has a rich, and very detailed backstory that frames the game.  While this "fluff," is very interesting, it is also very complex.  Here is my (somewhat) brief summary of the Warhammer 40,000 fiction.

I'll call it: 

From 2013 to the nightmare universe of the 41st millennium, or... how the hell did we get from here to there?

2013- 20th millennium

Little is known about this period of time.  It is variously called the Golden Age of Technology, the Dark Age of Technology or simply the time before Old Night.   What can be assumed is that mankind developed countless awe-inspiring technologies that allowed them to colonize millions of worlds.
 
Chief amongst this tech was the Standard Template Construct (STC) which allowed colonists access to all the technology mankind had developed using whatever materials were locally available (think of it like a replicator from Star Trek the Next Generation). 

At some point during this time humans discovered another dimension parallel to ours called the Immaterium, the Ether, or most commonly it is referred to as the Warp or Warp Space. 

 Warp Space is a realm of pure energy that does not conform to the laws of physics.  Man developed warp drive that formed a tear between the two realms that would allow ships to travel into Warp Space and since physics and time mean nothing in this realm, massive distances could be travelled in a short span of time.

 

A ship emerging from the Warp

 

If it had stayed that way then man might have become the kings of the universe. 

 

 

But that was not to be...

 

 

Tune in tomorrow for part two- The Coming of Old Night





Warhammer 40,000: One name, many games

Crazy Gamer here.

How are you, my readers, doing today?  Hopefully you are on your way to a happy weekend!  Where I am it will be over 110 degrees this weekend, I hope it's cooler where you are!


I've been playing Warhammer 40,000 for a long time.  How long?  Long enough to have played all six editions of Warhammer 40,000.  I started, way back in 1993 which for astute observers places my career firmly in the 40k 2nd edition era.  You are correct sir!  However, as an adult, and who is something of a historian of the game, I have played games of Rogue trader. 

As I read blog posts around the internet, and having listened to countless gamers all over the United States for decades I am amazed at people's perceptions of the different editions of Warhammer 40k.  When it comes right down to it, I've heard countless positive and negative viewpoints of every edition. 

This blog will not be me telling why everyone else is wrong and I am right.  I will just give my opinion having played every edition.  Up front I will say I have enjoyed aspects of every edition and have not liked elements of every edition.   

Without further ado:

Crazy Gamer's least favorite edition:

2nd Edition

Even though it was the first edition that I played, it is my least favorite edition by a large margin.  2nd edition 40k was a skirmish level game meaning that most armies tended to be 40 models or less.  Even though this was the case the rules made the game play so slowly you really had to dedicate a whole day to play a 1500pt game. 

The rules also included a large amount of abstraction that frequently lead to arguments.  I've seen several games devolve into fist fights and they were all games of 2nd edition. 

It wasn't all bad though.  2nd edition had a huge range of wargear that hasn't been equaled since.  I also preferred the expanded characteristics of this era to the more truncated ones in 3rd-5th edition.  This is changing now with 6th edition however. 

Biggest change between editions:

3rd edition

Some players have been complaining that the change between 5th and 6th edition was too big, but it has nothing on the change between second and third edition. 

3rd edition changed fundamental game mechanics, such as how close combat was fought, completely revamped all vehicles, and even changed the scope of the game going from a skirmish game to a battle game. 

3rd edition probably went too far in simplifying the rules and speeding up the game but this was the edition that I probably played more than any other and I remember it fondly.  Perfect?  Absolutely not, but a good time.  Probably the fastest playing edition. 

Did things really change?

4th and 5th editions

These two editions had the least changes between them.  The biggest change was the addition of "true line of sight," which is a game mechanic that I've never cared for.  These editions are also the editions that saw the rise of tournament play and the dreaded "WAAC," gamer (win at all costs).


Crazy Gamers favorite edition

6th edition

As a rule set, this current edition is the best, in my opinion.  This isn't to say that all the army books mesh well with 6th edition (I'm looking at you Necrons!)  but overall it mixes the larger amount of war gear and expanded profiles from 2nd edition with the streamlined battle system of the more modern editions.

Now, if Games Workshop will just be sold to someone who will take its miniature lines in a good direction then I have very high hopes for Warhammer 6th edition. 

Warhammer 101-Becoming a better General: Terrain

Many of us want to be a great general.  In our quest to become Napoleon we sometimes will go down a dark path of WAAC gaming (win at all costs).

While this article will not help you become a little French dictator (though everyone should know by now that Napoleon was actually a very average five seven) it will help you to be better at Warhammer.

Today's article will focus on terrain.  I will point out that I have decided to separate Warhammer Fantasy and 40k into different posts.  This is on Warhammer Fantasy. 

Terrain is all the stuff on your table that keep it from being just a green (or whatever color you go with) table.  It can be

Hills

 Forests

Swamps

And weird Warhammer wackiness

My first piece of advice is simple.  Know the terrain rules. 

Sadly, most players view the terrain rules as something to glance at and nothing more.  To an average commander terrain is something to be avoided as a nuisance.

A wise commander knows better.  Just by knowing how terrain works you will give yourself the advantage. 

Learn the terrain rules!  Got that?  Don't feel overwhelmed, you just need to know the essentials.  You don't need to know the exact rules for a charnel pit but you should know forests are mysterious and are dangerous terrain for cavalry, chariots, monstrous cavalry, and fliers using a flying move. 

Next, insist that you use the rulebook mandated D6 + 4 pieces of terrain (pg. 142).  Be aggressive with your terrain placement by looking for advantages you can use.  Do they have a gun line?  Use forests to block their lines of fire (especially in the center, force their shooters to one flank or another).  A wise general will look for any advantage and terrain placement is one of those advantages. 

Here are a few helpful hints:

Units cannot claim rank bonus nor can they be steadfast if they are even partially in a river.  Have trouble with big units of infantry then this can help.

Units with most (over half) of their models in a forest cannot be steadfast unless they are skirmishers or lone characters on foot who are always stubborn in forests. 

Fun tactic: Use a fighting hero and give him the Armor of Silvered Steel (or your armies equivalent) and place him in a forest to ambush a big unit of infantry.  As long as he is in the forest he is stubborn holding your foes unit in place until you can dispatch it (or ignore it all together).

Obstacles like walls not only protect you from shooting but can also swing close combat in your favor by making your troops more difficult to hit.

Charging down a hill gives you a +1 to your combat resolution.

Terrain is your friend!  Learn the rules and watch your game improve.

See you next time!

Warhammer 101: Becoming a better general

Today I will give you the first step in becoming a Warhammer grand champion!

1.  Learn to accept losing.  Learn from your mistakes. 

Yeah, I know, that's two things, but they are connected and I wanted each written as a statement of power. 

Let's look at each in depth eh?

Still with me?

Oh good!


Learn to accept losing- Notice how I wrote this?  I'm fully aware that Warhammer is a competitive game.  I'm not here to advocate some hippi 'let's all love each other and like get along and stuff as we sing Kumbaya while drinking liquid dirt from earthenware mugs,' policy.  We all want to win.

That said, sometimes our ego can get in the way of overall success with the hobby, thus we need to learn to accept losing. 

You will lose when you start out and this can make players turn to the dark corners of the Internet for WAAC (win at all costs) army lists.  Don't do this!

Instead- learn from your mistakes. 

An example from the Crazy Gamers past.  Way back in 1994 when I was just starting to play Warhammer Fantasy I ran a High Elf army.  Most of the time I played against my best friend and cousin Tom, but as he grew up and got a job (how dare he!  :) I needed to branch out and find new people to play against.

I went to my local store (some 44 miles away!) to play against a group of gamers out there.  These guys were quite a bit older than me, and for them Warhammer was a diversion from historical games. 

One of the first games that I played was against a Dark Elf army.  I was confident that my High Elves would prevail.  In my mind I had crafted a wonderful army list and had refined my tactics playing against Tom. 

My army was wiped out to a man (er... elf) while my opponent had only lost a handful of models.  For some this brutal beat down would have been the end of their game career.  While my opponent was gracious there were countless spectators that witnessed my whooping.  My pride was crushed.

Was his army unstoppable? 

No.

Did he bend the rules? 

No.

So instead I looked back at the battle.  My main advance had been in the open, and I had miss- handled my light cavalry so his archers could rain death down upon my poor battle line.  That wasn't all; I kept my heavy cavalry too far back to be useful, I didn't concentrate my firepower, etc, etc. 

There were plenty of lessons I could learn, and you can learn from the mistakes that you make on the battlefield if you just have the courage to look for them. 

Try this after each battle:

Ask yourself-

What worked?

What didn't work?

Keep your answers focused on what is controllable.

What does this mean? 

Well, we all have a tendency to overestimate our abilities and assume our losses are the result of unfair rules, armylists, players, game mechanics, and more.

While blaming these things may make you feel better, they won't help you play better.

What you can't control:

Your opponents army
Your opponents armylist
The game rules
The dice

Since you can't control them, don't worry about them.  Instead look at your own list, and your own tactics.

For example:  My Space Marine devastators did not destroy any enemy tanks.  This seems simple, your devastators failed due to bad luck.  Or did they?  Were you using missile launchers to destroy Land Raiders?  If you were then your devastators didn't fail you, you failed them.  At strength 8 a missile launcher cannot destroy a Land Raider outright.  Instead a player needs to roll a 6 on a D6 four times to take out the Land Raider. 

In your next game you need to either choose a different target for your missile launchers or change your weapons. 

Did your assault units not get into combat?   Why not?  Don't blame dice.  Did the troops have jump packs?  Did you have a transport? 

I could go on and on, but between the two game systems there are way too many possible combinations to list out here.

If your unit did what it was supposed to, continue using them that way.  If not, then change how you use them or change the unit. 

I'll go into this in more detail in the future.  Until then; keep on painting!

How to win at Warhammer: A Warhammer 101 article

Hello true believers!  Crazy Gamer here to help you in an area that everyone cares about- winning!

Everyone wants to win, we all dream of holding a massive trophy of gold; encrusted with diamonds while being flanked on each side by a bevy of beautiful women.  The crowd chants your name!  Oh look!  Nike is calling, they want to offer you a suitcase full of money to pitch their products...

Or, more likely, you'll get a piece of paper and stand up in front of a bunch of geeks.

Anyway... how do you get there?  How do you claw your way to the top of the heap? 

The answer is, like everything else, complicated; especially if you're just starting out.

You may be attempted to be a WAAC player.  Like performance enhancing drugs for athletes the WAAC style offers a quick and easy(ier) way to the top, but just like with athletes the fall from grace is hard and painful. 

About now you may be asking yourself, " What the hell is he talking about?"

Please let me explain!

WAAC is a gaming expression that means Win At All Cost.  This style requires a player to seek out any and all game bending rules and combinations of units to win in spite of the spirit and intention of the games rules.  While this isn't illegal or cheating, players who indulge in this style of play push any and all advantages be they overpowered units, ambiguous rules, loopholes, and any combination of all three. 

My more cutthroat brethren may ask, "What's wrong with that?  Why shouldn't I find every advantage and use it?"

Bernie Madoff

Ponzi Scheme mastermind

WAAC Gamer

To you cutthroat brother I say, once you turn down that dark path, there is no coming back!

Excuse me, let me explain in a slightly less melodramatic manner.

As I've said before, I've been playing Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 since 1993.  In all that time I've seen countless killer armies come and go.  Today we have Cron Air, but it won't last.  One way or another, whether from rule changes or players adapting, this army will not be the killer list that it is today.  In a few months it will be something else, and then something else, and so on and on. 

This is not only a very expensive way to play the game (each Necron flyer cost almost $50.00 and you need a half dozen or more) it's highly likely that by the time you get them purchased and painted a new killer list will have emerged. 

More damaging for players, especially new players, is that you rely on the gimmick the list is meant to exploit.  Players don't learn true tactics, they learn a gimmick.  When the gimmick goes away, and it will, the player has no real skill to fall back on.  Usually this will see them leave the game in frustration. 

That's sad. 

I understand the competitive culture of gaming.  You want to win, losing to your friends or to some game store top weenie is a bitter pill to swallow.  I get it.  I really do.  But I promise you, if you're patient and apply yourself, you can become a consistently good player. 

But I don't just offer my opinion, though that is the title of my blog... I will help you become this consistent player. 

Tune in to Part 2 where I give you actual skills that you can use to improve your game.

See you then!  

Warhammer 101: Painting your army- the basics

Welcome back Warhammer gamers!

In my eternal quest to help new members of our hobby I bring you my next Warhammer 101 article, this one will discuss the first steps of painting your army.

Painting your army is what separates us from animals, yet many gamers stay away from this step.  Painting is important, it's part of the hobby, nothing ruins the immersion of a game like playing against an army of gray plastic and silver pewter.  Painting your miniatures shows that you are committed to your army and the game that you play.

Yes it does take time, but it's not as difficult as you think and painting can be very very rewarding.

I hear you cry, "Crazy Gamer, I'm not artistic and I don't have a lot of time!"

Here are my answers, young student:

1.  You don't have to be an artist or even artistic to paint your army.  I sure as hell am neither.
2.  If you learn evil tips and tricks from criminal masterminds you can paint an army quickly.

Young warrior, take heart, I am one of these evil masterminds! 

A story!

Once, ages ago in an era of dinosaurs and dial up modems, the Crazy Gamer painted a full army in two weeks.  Golden Daemon worthy?  Hardly, but it was quick and effective.  Now I will tell you how. 

First you need to decide a paint scheme.  Games Workshop, for all its flaws, does a good job in their army books and codexes of showing you options for color schemes to paint in.  I recommend that unless it's very very important to choose an established color scheme. 

For example, if you are playing Space Marines choose Ultramarines, Salamanders, Crimson Fists, etc.
Playing Empire, choose Hochland, Middenland, or one of their established provinces. 

Why?

Games Workshop already provides the names of what paints you need to use to paint those armies.  This takes some of the guess work out of the experience. 

Some tips:

Dark colors are easier than bright colors.  Yellow and white are both very difficult colors to work with, so Dark Angels and Crimson Fists are easier to paint than Imperial Fists and White Scars.  High Elves are more difficult to paint than Dark Elves. 

All things being equal choose dark colors over bright ones at least for your first paint job.  They take less time to look good and dark colors hide mistakes better.

Avoid yellow unless you really really really want a yellow army (i.e. Imperial Fists, Averland Empire, Biel Tan Eldar).

What paints to use?

This is tricky.  There are a bunch of companies that offer paints.  I recommend Games Workshop paints.  Are they the best?  They are average, but for your first paint job it simplifies the process of figuring out what paint to use. 

What paint brushes should you get?

Here are some types of brushes:

You don't need a lot of these but I recommend a big flat brush and several round brushes. 

Where should you get them?

For your big flat brush I recommend going to a big box art store like Michael's or Hobby Lobby.  They have brush sets for very low prices.  I bought one several years ago at Michael's that contained all the brushes above for $5.99.  They won't be high quality but with your big brush this isn't as important. 

How big should your big flat brush be? 

This may come as a bit of a surprise but a flat brush should be about half an inch in width.  For those of you who aren't big on how big stuff is, your miniatures are 28mm which is approximately one inch so look for one that his about half as big as your miniatures. 

This seems big, but I will be discussing the big brush method of painting and you need a big brush to employ this method (I know, you're shocked). 

As for your round brushes.  You need several, for your primary brush I recommend a 5/1 round brush made from camel hair.  Compared to the flat brush described above this will seem tiny.  These also are very expensive as a single brush of this type is probably $10.00.  There are several cheaper versions made from sable and or various artificial substances.  These will be cheaper but they will not last anywhere near as long as a natural hair brush. 

You will also need at least one fine detail brush,  labeled 10/1 which looks like this:

This is will be used for eyes and the like.  This paint brush will also be very expensive and I also recommend natural hair (camel is the best). 

Once you get all of this we will discuss the first step of the big brush painting method. 

Step one of the Big Brush Painting method.

1.  Choose your dominant color.  The dominant color will be the color that takes up the majority of the model.  Here are some examples:

Orks:

These orks are predominately green so the dominant color is green.

Blood Angels:

This should be an easy one, the dominant color is red.

Empire State soldiers:

This is a tough one, you could choose either red or silver.

2.  Once you've chosen your dominant color (be aware I used basic color terms above, go to Games Workshop to see what the names of the paints are) get your big flat brush and your pot of paint.  You will also need a paper towel, a water cup (some kind of disposable container), and a paint palette (official ones can be bought at hobby stores.  In a pinch you can use a paper plate).


Also make sure that you cover the area you are going to paint in with newspaper or something to protect whatever surface you will be working on.

Take your dominant color and thin it down.  It is never a good idea to use paint right out of the pot.  Miniatures have a lot of detail and because you are painting miniatures and not bigs these details are very small.  The paint that you are using is acrylic which is just a fancy art word for liquid plastic.  This can cause several problems, thick paint will obscure fine details like noses, eyes, and fingers and the like.  Also, depending on how the paint is stored it can clump up. 

The moral of the story is thin your paint, it's cheap and easy.  Fancy artists will tell you to use an official paint conditioner (if you find it cheap I recommend it as well) but water can be used in a pinch. 

The amount of thinning will depend on the color of the paint.  Yellows and whites need less, black and flesh colors need more.  Try a drop or two of water (or conditioner).  Your paint should be the consistency of skim milk.   The color should still be clear, not watery.  If you thin the paint too much don't worry, you're much better off with really thin paint than paint that is too thick.  You can still use the overly thin paint, you will just have to apply an extra coat or two.

Take your big brush (the one that's about an inch in width) and pour (and thin) the dominant color.  Get your brush full of paint:

Paint the color on all the parts of the model that will be that color.  For example if you are painting Blood Angels, then paint the armor red. 

If you paint somethings that will not be the dominant color by mistake it's okay.  Your goal is to have a bright solid color on the largest surface and to do it quickly.

Your models should look like this:

Or:

Make sure that you paint ALL your models who have this dominant color.  Don't just paint one or two models.  Paint them all before going on to the next step.

Coming soon!  The next step.  Picking out details!

Warhammer 101: The armies- Dark Angels

The Dark Angels are back!

This time on Warhammer 101 I will discuss the newest  Warhammer 40,000 codex: Dark Angels

For those not in the know the Dark Angels are a space marine army.  I have already written a Warhammer 101 article on Space Marines, but I thought I'd give an update on this newest of Codexes.

First the Dark Angels have many units in common with regular Space Marines.  If you have any of the following then you can use them in a Dark Angels army:

Librarian
Chaplain
Space Marine Commander
Command Squad
Tactical Squad
Scout Squad
Rhino
Razorback
Drop Pod
Assault Squad
Dreadnought
Land Raider (all variants)
Predator
Whirlwind
Devastators
Land Speeders (except the Storm variant)


The Dark Angels have two primary differences from the regular Space Marine list.

The Deathwing- Dark Angels have their own Terminator elite troops.  Unlike regular space marines, the Deathwing isn't split up into assault and shooty terminators.  The Deathwing can have all combinations from both the assault and shooty tactical versions (with a few more toys).  It is also worth noting that the Dark Angels don't use power armor veterans (i.e. Sternguard and Vanguard veterans). 

The Ravenwing- This is all the Dark Angel fast stuff.  Land Speeders, bikes, attack bikes, and a few jets.

These all have specialized kits so make sure you get the right ones.

This all begs the question:

"What if I play regular space marines, but I want to use the new shiny codex?"

My answer is use the Dark Angel codex.  It is likely that the next regular Codex Space Marines will be very similar to the Dark Angels.  The Dark Angels Codex is more viable in the current game than the original space marine one.  As long as you don't buy the Ravenwing jets and specialized land speeders everything else will have a place in the next marine codex. 

This then begs the question:

"Can't I just wait?"

Sure, but the Dark Angels are more tactically flexible.  Also you will likely be waiting for a long time.  The next Codex: Space Marines is not currently on any release forecast for this year.  You really don't have anything to lose by using the Dark Angels book.  Only two kits won't be available for the next marine list (Nephilim jet fighter and the  Land Speeder Darkshroud).  Sure you can't use scout bikers or sternguard and vanguard veterans but that's life.  Still recommend the Dark Angel book over the Space Marine book unless you love a special character from the Marine book.

Have fun!

Warhammer 101: The primer on primer

Crazy gamer here with a (hopefully) helpful article on primer.

In the past I've discussed issues such as what different armies bring to the table (hopefully I'll have time to finish those soon), and about the tools you need to clean and assemble your models.  Now I will give a bit of advice about the first step of the painting process.


Everyone should paint their Warhammer armies.  Several noted scientists have discovered that having painted miniatures will make you more successful in life and at least 10 times more attractive to the opposite sex.*

Furthermore 94 of the 100 richest people in the world have at least one painted army.**So it goes without saying that you should paint your models.

Some people get scared of painting, and instead become CCG players (that's collectible card games for those of you who don't speak geek).  This is sad though!  Don't be scared!  You don't have to be Picasso to paint a decent looking army (besides have you seen what that guy painted?  I've seen four year olds paint things that make more sense, but I digress...)

I'm here to help!

The first step to painting is priming.  Priming is an initial layer of  thin matte paint that helps future coats of paint "stick," to your miniature.  This is an essential step but is one that many beginners skip (or are never made aware of) to their detriment. 

Do yourself a favor and prime your models.  If your miniatures could talk they would thank you if you do.

First, pick the type of primer that you want to use:


Spray Primer


Spray primer is the most common type of primer.  It comes in a variety of colors and is made by several different manufactures.  Make sure that the paint can says "primer," because if it doesn't it probably isn't primer.

A few notes:

Spray primer is a tricky beast, even for gaming veterans.  In order to use spray primer you will need a large, ventilated room that is free of anything you don't want primer on.  Spray primer is very very toxic so make sure you have ventilation! 

Next, follow the directions!  Men usually don't like to read directions, but make an exception this time (I won't tell anyone I promise) as this will save you money. 

If you are going to prime, pay attention to the temperature and humidity of where you are at.  If the humidity is more than 50% don't prime!!!!!  You will get a fuzzy texture to your models that is almost impossible to get off and will hurt your final product.  Also, if the temperature is more than 80 degrees and you are priming outside (always a good place because of ventilation) don't prime with black primer in the sun.  The sun will melt your models.  Also, don't prime on a breezy day as you can also get the fuzzy texture described above. 

I'm sure that the paragraph above makes you think that I'm a worry wort (whatever the hell that is) but I can't stress this enough... Plastic models are almost impossible to repair if you prime them incorrectly.  Metal models can be stripped using several substances (interestingly brake fluid is the cheapest and most effective method) but plastic is very difficult to save.  Resin is as difficult as plastic and even more expensive.  The bottom line is: MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING BEFORE YOU START SPRAYING!!!

Helpful tip- if you wear glasses take them off when you prime.  Primer will stick to your lenses.

Because of the inherent difficulty of using spray primer, you may want to consider using hand primer. 

No, I'm not talking about finger painting, this isn't preschool.  You use primer that is in the form of a bottle of paint and apply it with a paint brush.   Do not simply use black or white paint, it should be specifically created as a primer.  Games Workshop makes a decent bottle primer and several other companies do as well. 

Some tips! 

You're not painting during this step.  Use a big brush, the bigger the better. 

With all primer, less is more.  You're much better off applying several thin coats then one thick coat.  Yes it takes more time, but you don't want your miniatures to look like Mr. Potato Head do you? 

Thin the primer down!  It helps avoid applying it too thickly and will help your bottle last longer.  I recommend two parts primer one part water.  What does this mean for you non artists?  Your primer should be the consistency of milk.  It will start off like oil, if you get water you've added too much...well water... I guess this isn't my most poetic blog entry...

At any rate experiment, but know that you won't hurt your miniatures if you get the primer too thin.  Oh!!! but realize the thinner the paint the more it will get all over the place.  Use paper towels and wear clothes that you don't mind getting paint on.


Color:

Primer comes in all shades, but for our purposes only two matter: black and white.

Advantages of white primer:  White primer should be used for armies that have a predominately white color scheme. 

I don't recommend white primer unless you plan on painting a White Scars.  White primer is much more difficult to work with than black primer. 

Advantages of black primer:  Black primer has countless advantages, not least of all:

Gives you a natural shade
Makes mistakes less noticeable
Cool colors paint over it well

And more!

Some artists claim that black primer will not allow a painter to get his or her colors as bright as a white primer.  It is true, but unless you aspire to be a Golden Daemon painter painting a select range of armies, it really won't matter for us average souls.

See you later!

*Not even sort of.  Come on, you thought I was telling you the truth?  I've got a bridge I want to sell you
**Please make a check out to me in the amount of one million dollars.  Don't worry, the bank will know that it's a joke, honest. 

Warhammer 101: Tools of the trade

Hello all,

Sorry for the long delay in getting back to you.  I have journeyed long and far to a strange land to partake in local rituals of consumption.  I traveled through arid desert where rocks teetered upon other larger rocks until they reached the heavens.  For long hours I thought that perhaps the whole world was nothing but dirt and sand but then suddenly a temperate climate appeared with trees, and grass, and, and... water.

But I am back...

In my Warhammer 101 series I have discussed several armies.  This time I will discuss several tools that every gamer needs. 

These tools are necessary for you to get the most out of your models.  Citadel Miniatures do not come assembled.  You have to do this for yourself.  If you make sure that you have the proper tools you will reduce your frustration.

First, you need a knife

No, no no

Not this kind of a knife, you're not fighting off pirates!  You need this kind:

This kind of knife is used to clean off mold lines on models.

What are mold lines? 

(Face palm)

See that line that runs down the models leg.  That is a mold line.  It looks bad in plastic, when you are painting it's even worse.  A knife will get rid of this.

It is also wise to purchase a set of small files.  These are good for metal miniatures primarily.  The metal will dull your knife quickly so files will save you money on blades.  You can use files on plastic miniatures as long as you are delicate with it.  Under no circumstance should you use a file on Citadel Fincast miniatures. 

Glue:

Adhesives are a sticky subject (badah boom, I'll be here all week.) with different models needing different glues.  Let's look.

First- Super Glue

Super glue is used on metal models and resin models.  I advise that you use a super glue gel as pure super glue has the consistency of water which makes it difficult to work with.

Some things to note:

Less is more with all glue, but especially super glue as the more you use the longer it will take to dry.  Too much super glue will leave a white residue on your model. 

Super glue is strong but it will not hold a piece if that piece is too big or heavy.  As a good rule of thumb if the piece was thrown at you and you think it would really hurt, it probably needs something stronger.  Look for my advanced modeling techniques coming soon.

Usually warnings on products are just for stupid people, but as the wise man once said "There are two types of people who use super glue; those who have glued their fingers together and those who will glue their fingers together."  Watch what you are gluing, it will take only a second for your fingers to glue together and boy is it painful getting them apart (your knife is good for that also by the way)

Super glue WILL ruin whatever it touches that isn't your model.  Clothes, carpet, wood, plastic, whatever.  Make sure you use the glue in an area that has protection against the glue. 

2.  Plastic glue

This is a catch all for several different substances that are designed to glue plastic.  Games Workshop does offer a decent plastic glue. 

Some things of note:

Plastic glue will only work on plastic models.

Some types of plastic glue actually melt part of the plastic to create adhesion, be very careful to make sure that what you are gluing together actually should be glued together.  Plastic glued models are more difficult to break apart then metal ones.


Elmers White Glue

White glue like Elmers has a use.  Your models bases will need to be flocked or given sand.  In order to put this on your models you need white glue like Elmers.  There is no other modeling use for this glue so one small bottle will last you for a long time. 

Warhammer 101: Armies (40k Flavor Grey Knights/Sisters of Battle

Welcome to another installment of my seemingly interminable Warhammer 101 series.

Grey Knights

I was originally going to consider the Grey Knights as another type of Space Marine army.  I have since changed my mind. 

To be certain, the crux of the army are Space Marines albeit Space Marines with unique weapons and abilities.  Grey Knights have the same stat line as a regular space marine, and the same armor save.

So what separates them from their generic brethren?

1. Terminators can be chosen in larger numbers.
2.  All Grey Knights are psykers.
3.  Inquisitors and their boys n toys.

Let's get to each of these in turn

1. Space marine Terminators are among the most feared of all troops in the 40k universe and why shouldn't they be?  Terminator armor gives the best save in the game (2+ on one six sided dice) allows you to use some truly fearsome heavy weaponry which because of that awesome armor you can still fire on the move (most regular guys can only hit on a 6+ if they move and shoot with a heavy weapon).  A regular space marine army can use 30 of these bad boys but with the Grey Knights the sky's the limit (well more likely the points value of the game will be the limit, but you catch my drift).

2. Psykers have potent abilities that regular troopers don't have.  Think of the Jedi force powers combined with more generic fireballs shot from hands, the ability to predict the future, and many can put their dirtiest dishes in the dishwasher without the need to pre-clean (okay, not that last one, no psyker is that powerful.)  Most armies have to purchase special hero's to get access to psychic powers, but Grey Knights have them as standard.

Before I go on to my last point, it should be noted that the above abilities come at a price.  Namely you will likely field a tiny army.  At 2000 points (a medium sized game) you will be lucky to have 40 models.  This really isn't bad or good, just don't be shocked when your ork opponent outnumbers you five to one.

3.  Inquisitors are CIA + MI6+ Mossad+ the ability to kill worlds all wrapped into one.

Here is a quote from one of these guys  "I carry with me an Inquisitorial Seal.  It is a small, unassuming object contained in a neat box of obsidian.  It is a modest thing.  Plain, adorned with a single motif and a simple motto.  Yet with this object I can sign the death warrant of an entire world and consign a billion souls to oblivion."

Inquisitors and their henchmen are human and set against the stats and equipment of the Grey Knights they may go ignored.  However they have key abilities and crazy equipment that you shouldn't overlook out of hand. 

Gregor Eisenhorn: Inquisitor

Outlook:

The Grey Knights are fairly new with a complete model range.  It is possible that GW will add plastic inquisitors and henchmen later but you can be confident that when you buy your models they will be in service for years to come.

On the tabletop:

Grey Knights are considered a top level tournament army.  This is a double edged sword so be careful, because they are seeing so much success now, many gamers are gearing their armies to be optimised against Grey Knights. 


The Sisters of Battle:

I'll be honest, I wasn't quite sure where to put this.  As of this writing, the Sisters of Battle are an independent army (at one time they were part of the Inquisition) that have a White Dwarf Codex.

There is some murmur that they will get their own Codex and new model range.  This is far from certain.  Currently the range is all metal, models that were originally released in the late 90's.  If you love the range then go for it, but don't be shocked if they never get a codex or new models. 

Warhammer 101: The armies 40k flavor 2

Today's blog about armies will focus on two of 40ks alien races the Orks and the Tau.  The orks and Tau are a study in extremes; orks are violent and simple who focus on getting up close and personal while Tau are technologically advanced who favor attacking foes from afar.

Let's get more in depth kids! 

Orks:

In 40k orks are green skinned, axe wielding psychos.  Orks are bad at shooting with a ballistic skill of only 2 (the lowest in the game).  As an ork you will need a 5 or 6 on a six sided dice to hit anything.  Orks have two things going for them however:

1.  Ork weapons don't hit very often, but when they do they hit hard.
2.  Orks are very good in close combat.

Let's look at this second point in more detail.  Orks are skilled in close combat, they are armed for close combat, and orks are cheap meaning you will have a lot of them on the table. 

For comparison a space marine has a weapon skill of 4 and one attack and costs 16pts.  He is armed with a bolter meaning that the most attacks he can have in close combat is 2.

An average ork boy also has a weapon skill of 4 but has two base attacks and costs 9pts.  He is armed with a choppa (think of a really big axe!) and a pistol which grants him another attack.  This means that an ork has 3 attacks minimum and if he charges into combat will have 4 attacks. 

Above is just a basic example but it underscores the theme of the army which is get your big hordes of orks into combat and bash heads.  Ork armies are big, have lots of cheap vehicles, and have a close combat edge.

This doesn't mean that orks can't shoot.  They can, ork weapons tend to offer a lot of shots and their vehicles can have ordinance that use big 5 inch templates that can hit automatically anyone under them.  Orks also utilize a slave race called gretchin or grots who shoot better and can have artillery.  They don't have any ability in close combat but have better ballistic skill. 

Ork armies are supremely customizable, perhaps more so than any other  army in the game.  If you want to have a bit of everything then orks are a great opportunity to model all sorts of crazy things.

If you like uniformity then the ork army probably isn't for you.

As for how successful ork armies can be, they are competitive in the current 6th edition rules. 

Ork armies tend to be more expensive because you need more models.



The Tau

Tau are a technologically advanced race that have expanded at an amazing rate.  They go about their policy of "For the Greater Good," by offering races they encounter a place in their empire, as long as they submit.  This means that in addition to the Tau themselves they have several other alien races that support their armies.

The Tau are very poor fighters, the worst in the game, but they make up for that deficiency by having super technology and aliens who can fight up close.

If you crave having awesomely powerful guns and cool tech like battle suits, gun drones, hover tanks and more than the Tau are for you.

Currently their range is one of the more limited available in 40k, collecting this army is about average in cost. 

The army is currently considered to be not competitive with top tier armies.  That said, rumor has it that a new Tau book is coming soon and could see release as early as next spring.  Games Workshop has not indicated that they will replace any of the range so you can collect the army without fear of something being taken away.

You can have fun with this army, and you can win with it, my above statement should be taken to mean that against top level tournament players with top level armies you will struggle. 

Warhammer 101: The Armies (40k flavor)

Sorry for the delay Warhammer newbies

Here is the next part of introducing Warhammer 40,000 armies.

The Imperial Guard

The Imperial Guard is the "other," human army in 40k (well... I guess I should claim Grey Knights as a human army as well so...)

The Imperial Guard is the "regular," guy army in 40k.  Many new players are drawn to this army because it looks normal to gamers, it's you and me in camo with guns. 

Pray that you never get inducted in the Imperial Guard.  The Imperial Guard is essentially every historical (and in some cases movie) army unit.  What do I mean by that?  The Guard doesn't have one uniform look.  Do you want your guys to look like Laurence of Arabia then play Tallarn Imperial Guard.  Do you prefer World War One Germans?  Play Armaggeddon Steel Legion.  Prefer a modern look to your army men?  Play Cadian Shock Troopers.  There are many more styles for me to list here.  Looks are deceiving though as the Imperial Guard plays like the Red Army.  If you play this army you will have waves and waves of cheap (and expendable) infantry, with tanks in support.  You also have a few units that defy expectation in a futuristic army such as hobbits (called Ratlings in 40k parlance) and Ogryns (think ogres but not green).

The bottom line is the Imperial Guard are army men plus tanks and some goofy stuff
The tanks are not modern tanks but rather they are tanks more reminiscent of those from WW1 or WW2.

Imperial Guard armies are popular and effective in Warhammer 40,000.  They have a lot of options and it is a good army for collectors. 

A word of warning for new players; you will lose A LOT of men in games!  Don't get discouraged!  You will lose 3 or 4 models for every one Space Marine. 

Ranking the Primarchs Addendum

A few weeks ago I wrote a series of blogs ranking the Primarchs.  However since I wrote the list a few things have changed.

Last week Black Library released the book Angel Exterminatus by Graham McNeill which tells another tale of the Horus Heresy, this one focused on Perturabo.

If you recall I ranked Perturabo very low on my list.  Only Angron and the deleted Primarchs ranked lower. 

I now feel differently than Perturabo.  I feel he should be pushed up the list now as he now is a fleshed out character.  He is no longer the brooding killer who punishes his subordinates for any mistake.  Now he is a skilled inventor, artistic, a master linguist, and above all raked by guilt and self doubt. 

I recommend the book highly, if you are a fan of the Heresy or Sci Fi in general it's a very good read.  You will have to go to www.games-workshop.com or www.blacklibrary.com to get it.  It will be released in main stream outlets next spring.

Warhammer 101: Choosing an army

Yesterday I started my Warhammer 101 series with a basic overview of the hobby.  Today I will discuss choosing an army to play.

Ultimately you should choose an army that you like the look of.  Don't succumb to popular Internet sentiment.  If you don't like the models you won't want to paint the models and your enjoyment of the hobby will diminish.

I will also point out that you should be careful about looking for super powerful Internet lists.  They don't last long. 

What do I mean by this?  Back in 2002 I began an  Ultramarines army which I based off of the 5th Battle Company.  Over time I have added different elements, but I still use my 5th company as the core of the lists that I use today ten years later.  In the same time I have seen hundreds of "super," lists come and go.  These lists are usually highly specialized and very expensive and even small changes to the game can greatly reduce the armies effectiveness. 

Currently the 40k darling army is a Necron army known as Cron Air.  It uses as many Necron fliers as possible.  The problem is each Necron Flyer is some $50.00 dollars.  This army will set you back a small fortune and their is no telling how long the list will be super. 

I cannot stress highly enough to purchase a balanced army (which I will discuss later).  It will be cheaper and will last you as long as you play in the hobby.

Now I will give a brief overview of the current armies, starting with 40k ones.

Space Marines: This is the bread and butter army.  It is almost entirely plastic (fun to model, more variety, light, etc).  Space Marines are tough, skilled, and well equipped.  Space Marine armies are smaller in numbers and as such are cheaper to purchase.  However because they are an elite army you will have to make tough choices with what to bring to a game. 

Space Marine armies also allow many easy painting techniques to be used.
Here are some cool images to wet your whistle.

Space Marines also come in several other flavors:

Blood Angels are more close combat oriented and favor use of Jump packs.

Then you have Dark Angels which are more shooty and have more bikers.

Finally we have Space Wolves that have things like giant wolves, and viking weapons.



Regardless of type, all Space Marines are tough and effective in combat. 

Next up we have


Necrons: Necrons are similar to Space Marines in that they are tough and resilient and effective in combat.  They are essentially metal skeletons who want revenge against the universe.  Necrons are currently very popular but are likely to be reduced in effectiveness. 

Necron armies are also mostly plastic and can be effectively painted using the dry brushing method (which is both quick and easy).

Those of you who are children of the 80's may notice a homage to the Terminator.  Necrons even have a special rule that used to be called "I'll be back."

Next up- More 40k armies and then Fantasy armies!