Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Lazy 40k fluff part 3

Last time I left off with mankind having fallen into the Age of Strife, which was a bummer of a time for everyone!

Today though I will take us out of the Age of Strife and up to the Great Crusade.

Let's begin!

In the 25th millennium mankind was split up and at war with itself and countless alien species.  Planets were cut off from one another by terrible warp storms and human psykers were becoming gateways for infernal creatures from Warp Space.  Mankind was at the brink.

On Earth a myriad of petty warlords arose and created their own kingdoms.  Most of these warlords were simply power hungry men who were powerful enough to subjugate those unfortunate to be close by.  However a few of these were truly evil men, such as the Pan Pacific Tyrant Narthan Dume, the Unspeakable King, and the Seven Neverborn who brought about horrific atrocities that went so far that soon there were far more dead on Earth then living. 

Not all of the men were evil.  One would later be known as the Emperor.

 No one knows who the Emperor was before he took the title.  He is most certainly the most powerful human psyker who ever lived and many consider that he was immortal.  The Emperor's psychic might defies belief, he was able to topple mountains with a word, knock a planet off its axis, foretell the future, and more. 

The Emperor created an army of Thunder Warriors, genetically superior warriors armed and armored with the best technology that had survived Old Night. 

With these Thunder Warriors at his command the Emperor fought his war of Unification, overthrowing the tyrants of Earth and bringing the planet under the rule of one man. 

Once Earth was reunified the Emperor had to undertake drastic steps to save his race.  The radiation of countless nuclear wars had severely ravaged man's genetic structure.   Humans of this time would hardly be recognizable as such to us today.

Using his research from creating the Thunder Warriors the Emperor was able to stabilize the human genome.  The Emperor wasn't done however.  Saving man from the radiation wastes of Earth would not be enough.  Mankind needed to reclaim its place in the galaxy and while the Thunder Warriors had been enough to reclaim Earth, they were too rough a product to mass produce to conquer the galaxy.

The Emperor began the Primarch project.  20 individuals created from the Emperor's own genetic code, each would sire a legion of genetic super warriors that the Emperor would use to conquer the galaxy in a Great Crusade. 

Next time!

The Great Crusade and the Horus Heresy!

Friday, June 14, 2013

Lazy person's guide to 40k fluff part 2

Yesterday I discussed the Golden era of human civilization which brings the time line up to the 20th millennium

So what events lead up to Old Night?  Let's dive in! 

Near the end of the Golden Age of Technology two types of mutants began to appear in human society; psykers, and navigators.

Psykers are humans who can tap directly into warp space and use the energy there to complete acts of awesome power.  Psykers can variously control minds, immolate a tank with etheric fire, move objects (think of them like Yoda + Harry Potter + Professor X+ that scary fire starting dude from X- Files).  Different psykers have different powers and only an extremely powerful one can do all of the things listed above. 

This might not seem like a bad thing, but the realm of warp space isn't empty.  Warp Space is filled with predators of pure emotion, that love to enter the mortal realm.  How do they enter the mortal realm?  There are two ways, a rift in space or through a psyker. 

A psyker who isn't careful can become possessed and they are extremely dangerous and completely evil.

A Possessed Psyker
The other mutant to appear are called navigators.  Navigators have a third eye slightly above and between their normal two eyes. 
These mutants could read the currents of Warp Space which allowed ships to make longer and longer journeys through the Warp.
New human colonies could be planted even further away from Earth as man was confident that now that they had navigators, communication between worlds would always be possible.
They were wrong...
In the 25th millennium horrific storms began to ravage Warp Space.  Known as warp storms, these storms made it impossible for ships to travel to certain planetary systems.  Man had spread out so quickly and so far that it was impossible to reach these systems by conventional means, people just didn't live long enough. 
Eventually the storms got so bad that almost all human planets were cut off from each other, where even Earth and Mars were separated by storms.  Each planet had to fend for themselves and many couldn't as aliens, as if sensing blood, descended upon the helpless planets. 
Added to this was the growing number of people who were born as psykers and the huge number of these psykers that would become possessed by warp entities.  Attacked from without by hordes of aliens, and now assailed from within by possessed humans the golden empire of man splintered and fell apart in flames. 
For it's part Earth descended into anarchy as a global war consumed it.  Atomic weapons were unleashed until the oceans were burned away and the entire planet became a rad waste. 
Humanity was on the verge of extinction.  The Golden Age was dead, the Age of Strife was born.  The light was gone, and the long night was to begin. 
Next time- The Unification Wars and The Great Crusade  

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Lazy person's guide to the Warhammer 40,000 universe

Warhammer 40,000 has a rich, and very detailed backstory that frames the game.  While this "fluff," is very interesting, it is also very complex.  Here is my (somewhat) brief summary of the Warhammer 40,000 fiction.

I'll call it: 

From 2013 to the nightmare universe of the 41st millennium, or... how the hell did we get from here to there?

2013- 20th millennium

Little is known about this period of time.  It is variously called the Golden Age of Technology, the Dark Age of Technology or simply the time before Old Night.   What can be assumed is that mankind developed countless awe-inspiring technologies that allowed them to colonize millions of worlds.
Chief amongst this tech was the Standard Template Construct (STC) which allowed colonists access to all the technology mankind had developed using whatever materials were locally available (think of it like a replicator from Star Trek the Next Generation). 

At some point during this time humans discovered another dimension parallel to ours called the Immaterium, the Ether, or most commonly it is referred to as the Warp or Warp Space. 

 Warp Space is a realm of pure energy that does not conform to the laws of physics.  Man developed warp drive that formed a tear between the two realms that would allow ships to travel into Warp Space and since physics and time mean nothing in this realm, massive distances could be travelled in a short span of time.

A ship emerging from the Warp
If it had stayed that way then man might have become the kings of the universe. 
But that was not to be...
Tune in tomorrow for part two- The Coming of Old Night

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

E3 Wednesday Good, Bad, and Ugly

Hello all! 

I thought that I would add to my good, bad, and ugly.  After all you can never have too much ugly! 

More Good!

Monolith Soft's RPG so far known as X.  This is an RPG for the Wii U that really looks impressive.  Not much is known about the game, but given Monolith's track record this really should be a good game. 

A new Contra was teased! 

The Bad:

Castlevania Lords of Shadow 2- Why can't anyone wear a shirt?  Really!? 

The Ugly:

Microsoft's stance about requiring a high speed internet connection- If you can't get internet, just buy an Xbox 360 instead!  Thanks Microsoft! 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

E3: The Crazy Gamer's the good, the bad, and the ugly

For non video game fans this week is just another week.  For those of us who love video games this week is one of the best!  E3 (the Electronic Entertainment Expo) showcases the newest video games for the upcoming year.  Here is my good, bad, and ugly from the show so far. 

Oh!  Make sure you check out,,, and for coverage of the E3 event from different perspectives.

The Good:

Super Mario 3D Land for Wii U.  This game is one part Super Mario 3D Land from the 3DS (a great game!) that adds elements of Super Mario 2 (i.e. players can play as Toad, Princess Peach, and Luigi) as well as Mario.  Up to 4 players can play at once!  My wife and I will be playing this!

Donkey Kong Country: Tropic Freeze- This is a Wii U sequel to the Wii platformer Donkey Kong Country Returns.  I love side scrolling games, and this one looks like a trip that really shakes up the formula for side scrolling games.  This game also has in person multiplayer so my wife and I will be playing this one this holiday season as well.

The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds- This is a direct sequel to A Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past which is one of my favorite games of all time.  This is enough to justify a purchase but it also seems to be an old fashioned top down adventure game with a bunch of new features.

Playstation 4's Price and lack of online DRM.  Playstation 4 will not need to be online all the time, it will not require a daily check in, and is a full $100.00 cheaper then Xbox One.  I would buy one but there are not any games that I want in the launch window.  Still, when I do upgrade it will be to PS4.

Final Fantasy XV:  I have always been a fan of  what I saw for Final Fantasy Versus XIII, but the game never came out and info became scarce.  It turns out that Versus XIII has in fact become Final Fantasy XV, so that is exciting to me.

The Bad:

When the Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker was released for the Game Cube data miners discovered the game had code for two unfinished dungeons.  I was hoping that Nintendo would announce that these dungeons would be finished and included in the new remake, but alas they didn't.  Sad face! 

No Star Fox, or Metroid.  I'm sad for this, but then I ask myself: "How many games can I play at once?"  If everything comes out all at once then I won't be able to enjoy all of them.  Now I still have games to look forward to!

No Dragon Quest VII remake announced for US release.  Guess I'll have to hope, or learn Japanese...

The Ugly:

Microsoft Xbox One

So let me get this straight, I have to pay a hundred dollars more for a console I don't actually own, with features I don't actually want with games that Microsoft gets to tell me what to do with?  I don't think so! 

They didn't show a single game that was exclusive to the Xbox that I was interested in.  Sorry Xbox, but you don't offer anything I want.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Crazy Gamer's Final Draft Warhammer Fantasy Tournament list

This weekend marks the big Warhammer Fantasy Tournament.  Here is my list!

2500pts- Empire

General of the Empire: General, full plate armor, shield, lance, Charmed Shield, barded warhorse- 140pts

Good leader, below average fighter, but his Hold the Line special rule (his unit takes leadership tests of 3d6 and picks the two lowest) is too good to pass up. 

Battle Wizard Lord: Dispel Scroll, Lore of Life- 190pts

A cheap and effective battle wizard, the spell Lifeblood, will be the lifeblood for keeping my infantry alive.

Witch Hunter: light armor, great weapon, brace of pistols- 60pts

Captain of the Empire- full plate armor, shield, lance, battle standard bearer, barded warhorse- 116pts

Keeps the lads in the fight.  No thrills. 

Captain of the Empire: full plate armor, shield, pistol, Talisman of Endurance, Sword of Might- 123pts

Acts as a second general for the foot soldiers.  He also has hold the line and his high initiative will help the always striking last greatswords early in combats.

Battle Wizard: Scroll of Shielding, lore of light- 80pts

Spells have extra oomph against undead and daemons.

10 Empire Knights, full command- 250pts

6 Empire Knights, full command- 162pts

6 Empire Knights, champion, and musician- 152pts

Together these are the "door," that will be slammed on the enemy.  Foot troops thin the enemy down and these guys clean up.

16 Imperial Crossbowmen, marksman, detachment of 8 handgunners- 226pts

30 Greatswords, full command, Banner of Discipline, detachment 16 spearmen, detachment 15 swordsmen- 587pts

The anvil as the greatswords and its detachments are stubborn at leadership 9 with the "hold the line," rule allowing me throw away the highest dice in a leadership test.  They go after the biggest nastiest unit the enemy has and hold them in place for the cavalry to arrive.

8 Pistoliers, marksman, musician, repeater pistol- 174pts

These guys sneak around the flank and pummel anything in their way with hot lead.  They don't shoot very well, but 18 strength 4 armor piercing shots are hard to argue with.  It is important to note that these guys are the only unit in the Empire list that are both highly mobile and  hard hitting shooters. 

Luminark of Hysh- 120pts

Every army should have one of these!  I haven't seen too many of these on the field though I don't know why, it gives a 6+ ward save to everything within six inches and it adds one dice to your dispel pool.  Oh and let's us not forget that it can fire a strength 8 bolt of light that shoots like a cannon and rerolls failed wounds against the forces of darkness oh and does d6 wounds!  Come here Mr. Bloodthirster, I've got a little present for you!

Great Cannon- 120pts

This thing loves monstrous infantry and monstrous cavalry.  One of them accounted for 6 ogres, and 10 ogre thunderers in one game (who made the bad decision to occupy a building).


Check out pictures on Sunday!

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Warhammer 40,000: One name, many games

Crazy Gamer here.

How are you, my readers, doing today?  Hopefully you are on your way to a happy weekend!  Where I am it will be over 110 degrees this weekend, I hope it's cooler where you are!

I've been playing Warhammer 40,000 for a long time.  How long?  Long enough to have played all six editions of Warhammer 40,000.  I started, way back in 1993 which for astute observers places my career firmly in the 40k 2nd edition era.  You are correct sir!  However, as an adult, and who is something of a historian of the game, I have played games of Rogue trader. 

As I read blog posts around the internet, and having listened to countless gamers all over the United States for decades I am amazed at people's perceptions of the different editions of Warhammer 40k.  When it comes right down to it, I've heard countless positive and negative viewpoints of every edition. 

This blog will not be me telling why everyone else is wrong and I am right.  I will just give my opinion having played every edition.  Up front I will say I have enjoyed aspects of every edition and have not liked elements of every edition.   

Without further ado:

Crazy Gamer's least favorite edition:

2nd Edition

Even though it was the first edition that I played, it is my least favorite edition by a large margin.  2nd edition 40k was a skirmish level game meaning that most armies tended to be 40 models or less.  Even though this was the case the rules made the game play so slowly you really had to dedicate a whole day to play a 1500pt game. 

The rules also included a large amount of abstraction that frequently lead to arguments.  I've seen several games devolve into fist fights and they were all games of 2nd edition. 

It wasn't all bad though.  2nd edition had a huge range of wargear that hasn't been equaled since.  I also preferred the expanded characteristics of this era to the more truncated ones in 3rd-5th edition.  This is changing now with 6th edition however. 

Biggest change between editions:

3rd edition

Some players have been complaining that the change between 5th and 6th edition was too big, but it has nothing on the change between second and third edition. 

3rd edition changed fundamental game mechanics, such as how close combat was fought, completely revamped all vehicles, and even changed the scope of the game going from a skirmish game to a battle game. 

3rd edition probably went too far in simplifying the rules and speeding up the game but this was the edition that I probably played more than any other and I remember it fondly.  Perfect?  Absolutely not, but a good time.  Probably the fastest playing edition. 

Did things really change?

4th and 5th editions

These two editions had the least changes between them.  The biggest change was the addition of "true line of sight," which is a game mechanic that I've never cared for.  These editions are also the editions that saw the rise of tournament play and the dreaded "WAAC," gamer (win at all costs).

Crazy Gamers favorite edition

6th edition

As a rule set, this current edition is the best, in my opinion.  This isn't to say that all the army books mesh well with 6th edition (I'm looking at you Necrons!)  but overall it mixes the larger amount of war gear and expanded profiles from 2nd edition with the streamlined battle system of the more modern editions.

Now, if Games Workshop will just be sold to someone who will take its miniature lines in a good direction then I have very high hopes for Warhammer 6th edition. 

Friday, June 7, 2013

Crazy Gamer's official Xbox One stance

Hello all.  Today I will give you my opinion on the...


The specs of the system seem powerful...though no game was shown that really showcased the systems power. 

I for one care more about what developers are able to do with artificial intelligence and user interfaces.  I want organic dialogue that changes based on how I want to play my character.  I hope one day that conversation trees are replaced with something more natural.  I also hope user interfaces become less heavy handed.  Maybe this generation will offer that?  We will see.

The controller:

I like the controller, I think I prefer it to the Playstation 4's controller.  I will withhold my final judgment until I can actually handle them.

The new Kinect:

I was unimpressed with the original Kinect.  On the surface it could be interesting, but the Kinect was never used in a good way.  The only game that I thought used the Kinect in a good way was Mass Effect 3 where you could give vocal commands to your companion characters and could use your voice to change weapon load outs.  This was limited a bit too much by the technology at the time but maybe this new Kinect will allow developers the ability to better integrate these features into games and to design new uses.


My overactive imagination takes over.  Suddenly I meet George Orwell in a cafĂ©. 

"So Crazy Gamer," he asks "Tell me about the future."

"Well George, we have a lot of cool things now.  We have cars that can run on electricity, we have the internet which is a bunch of computers connected together to create this online space we can all use.  Have you ever heard of videogames George?"

"Well... no Crazy Gamer I've never heard of those.  What are they?"

"Well there is this new Xbox One game system and it has this Kinect device that has a bunch of cameras that watch what you do, for the game.  And, remember that internet that I explained before, well the Kinect can transmit your data to the internet for anyone you want to view."

"That sounds awful!  The government can't use this internet can they?"

"Of course they can George."

"So they could see what you're doing in your house?"

"I guess, but Microsoft promises I can tell the Kinect to not listen to me."

"So Crazy Gamer, you're telling me that now Big Brother really can be watching?

"I don't think so, my big brother has a Playstation."

"Take me back to my time please.  And may God have mercy on your soul."

Anyway, I know I'm overreacting but I can't help but find the idea of a device that can watch and listen to everything I do and upload it to the internet unpalatable.  Microsoft assures us that we can decided just how much it can listen to and watch but what happens when a suspected terrorist, or a person that is suspected in a crime have an X Box One?  Will it be legal to get a warrant to be able to watch people?  Can Microsoft override our privacy settings?  How secure is Microsoft's servers in the first place?  Could they be hacked by a third party?  These are troubling ideas, and might be a deal breaker.

Xbox Live, Xbox TV, etc, etc

I don't want to pay for an additional online service.  Sorry Microsoft. 

I couldn't care less about the Xbox television connection (I have satellite, which may or may not be able to take advantage of these features) or any of the other "awesome," social features. 

Xbox One needing to connect to the internet.

This is another feature that shouldn't bother me, but does.  I have a fairly stable broadband internet connection and I don't buy a lot of used games.  Still, I feel that I should be able to do whatever the hell I want with the stuff I buy.  Microsoft assures us that the Xbox One only needs to connect to the internet once a day and that this is going to allow us access to all kinds of cool things, but it just smacks of them wanting to control how I use my Xbox,which begs the question, is it my product at all?  If I have to pay $400.00 dollars or more it damn well outta be! However I really don't think Microsoft agrees and that's a problem, at least for me.

The Games

I have no idea as no pure Xbox One next gen only games were shown.  We saw some games, but these games are also coming out on the current generation consoles.  New features are promised, but nothing was shown.  Microsoft is promising 15 new games, but outside of Forza, and Halo, and Oblivion, nothing was shown and none of those franchises interest me. 

My verdict:

Barring a massive influx of cool RPG's only available on Xbox One, the Crazy Gamer says- thanks but no thanks Microsoft.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Crazy Gamer becomes the Crazy Historian

I apologize that today's post is not gaming related.  Once upon a time the Crazy Gamer studied a lot of history and occasionally my love of history overwhelms my better judgment and so I post something like this. 

Don't worry though game lovers, I have three Warhammer articles and three video game articles in the works (you'll never guess my take on the Xbox 1) but those are for a later day. 

Today is about history! 

I live in the United States of America.  Like all countries the world over the US has its share of problems and I am going to type about two.  The first problem is this countries crumbling infrastructure.  We have unsafe bridges, bad roads, dams that are at their structural limits, to say nothing of the fact that their are many buildings both public and private that are way below modern code.  Why isn't anything done about it?  It's easy, there isn't any money, and sadly that isn't going to change anytime soon. 

Another problem the US has, and we aren't the only country that has this problem, are banks that are too large to fail.  This, of course, isn't what our government says about banks, but it certainly is what our government's actions are making clear. 

About now you may be asking, "What do these two things have to do with each other, and why are you bringing them up?"

Let me explain.  While reading, think about how our country could be very different today if but for one thing. 

If you asked the average American they would not be aware that once we had a national bank (well we had two actually but this blog is about the second bank) called the Bank of the United States.  It was the repository of all government funds and it was responsible for collecting money and paying debts for and to the United States.  Could you imagine how much easier to figure out where tax payer money went to if there was only one place that was responsible for  paying the governments debts?

Still, this isn't what I wanted to talk about.  A guy by the name of Henry Clay (a member of the House of Representatives when he proposed this, but at other times he was a Senator, and the Secretary of State) who was a Democratic Republican (nope, I didn't make a mistake that was a party.  I'm going to giggle at right and left wing nuts trying to decide if they should hate Clay or like him based on his party).

Anyway, he proposed that a special fund be created from the interest earned on the money kept in the bank (billions of dollars in todays money) be used solely for the purpose of internal national improvements.  Pretty cool huh?  Imagine every year hundreds of millions of dollars for internal improvements on the items listed above and none of it would need to come from the national or state budget!  Alas it was not to be.  James Monroe vetoed that plan even though he did agree to the Bank of the United States.  Jackson would kill the bank in the 1830's, and here we are today, we have private banks that are a law unto themselves and we have no money to fix the infrastructure of our country.  If only things could have been different...